there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
