oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So apparently I’m into choking now
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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