I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize