so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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