Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
