Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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