She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
