Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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