After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize