So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
