i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
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I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
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I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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