he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
