and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
