life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
