Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
