it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
