I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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