I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize