i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
