i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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