ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
