I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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