The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
