Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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