My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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