I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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