This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
