I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
