Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
