So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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