I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
