Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Fuck appropriateness.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
