yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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