Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize