I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
