you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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