So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
