Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
