Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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