can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
