so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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