Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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