This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
