Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
