Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
