I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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