yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
