And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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