My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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