i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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