So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
