I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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