she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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