God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
