God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
