after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
