Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
