And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
