The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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