I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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