He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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