Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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