Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
