When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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