i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
