Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
