i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The Olympian is in my bed
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
